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By Biba Pedron Being a small business owner often means wearing a number of different hats. How many of you act as the CEO, the general manager, the accountant, the salesperson, the computer technician, the secretary, the receptionist, etc? Sound familiar? Many entrepreneurs try to chase too many targets at once and end up overwhelmed rather than focusing on their business. They spend all their energy carrying out daily tasks leaving little time for the most important part of their business - their own business! To avoid this, spend some time focusing on your business and decide which strategies will be most helpful in developing your own marketing plan. In order to grow and succeed in your business, you first need to have a crystal clear idea of what you want to do and where you want to go. In other words, have you defined your objectives? And more importantly, have you put them in writing? This was actually a new concept for me. In the French culture we are not used to doing this and when I tried to teach it to some of my French clients, they just thought I was nuts! But I understand why because it took me a while before I decided to give it a try. My thoughts were that I had always managed to get what I wanted without the need to write my objectives down. But since so many people here were already applying this concept to their business, I decided not to be stubborn and give it a go too. Wow! Since I have been using this concept everything has moved so much faster! Writing my objectives on a weekly basis and being very specific in each area of my business has given me the opportunity to create strategic alliances with other entrepreneurs, triple my database, double my revenue last year and write a book. I am now also working on numbers of new projects with people who I could never have expected to meet or work with just a couple of years ago. Now my big dreams are a reality! I love the way people do business in the US. I dont know if you realize it but you are very lucky. You have all the tools to succeed, but do you use them? When you write your objectives on a weekly or monthly basis it makes you actually work on them and act faster. If you are not specific and just say, I will have money, or I will have more clients, then yes, these things will come, but the question is when? You dont have any deadline to accomplish them by! But if you decide that by May 30th you will have 6 new clients, you will then do something in order to get those clients instead of praying or waiting to see if this will happen. In my last networking event, I asked my members, What are your goals for the next 30 days? Some answered without hesitation while others had to think about it. And somebody told me, Thanks Biba for reminding me that I need to work on my goals, I had actually forgotten about it. I found that the best way of incorporating time for your objectives and marketing plan into your schedule is to set up an appointment with yourself. And whatever happens, even if there is a client emergency, never cancel this appointment with yourself. Make a decision that once a month or once a week you will spend an hour or two working on your business, focusing on: strategies to get more clients, new products or services to offer, special campaigns to make more sales and writing articles to post on your newsletter, newspapers or ezine directories to promote your business. The more links you get, the more traffic you will receive on your website (by the way, do you have a website? If not this should be one of your objectives for the next 30 days). Do you have a newsletter? This is the easiest and cheapest way to communicate on a regular basis with your clients and prospects, in order to promote and grow your business. This can be another objective for the next 30 days. Take the time to plan strategies that will help to grow your business. Consider yourself as your most important client. Do for yourself what you do for your clients. Your business needs all your attention, all your energy and all your dedication. Your future and your success depend on it. If you need help with organizing your ideas or working on your marketing plan, join my boot-camp starting on May 3rd. And just as I have done for my previous clients, I will help you too save a great deal of time and money. If you are ready to boost your business and to take action, check the program NOW, at ==>http://www.startyourdreambusinesstoday.com/bootcamp.html 2006 Biba F. Pdron Biba F. Pdron, is a marketing consultant, founder of Biba4Network, that specializes in Networking for small business owners in the greater New York area; and Focus on Career, which helps solo entrepreneurs start and grow their businesses. http://www.focusoncareer.com Biba is the author of Start Your Dream Business Today! The Proven 11 Steps to Start and Grow Your Own Business.For more information or to receive free tips like this one, please visit http://www.biba4network.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Biba_Pedron http://EzineArticles.com/?What-are-Your-Goals-for-the-Next-30-Days?&id=174540 buy phentermine no perscription buy phentermine hcl phentermine without doctor prescription phentermine without a dr prescription

By Joe Love Regardless of the type of business that youre in, youve undoubtedly developed expert knowledge in the field that you are in. Whether youre a beauty salon owner, an auto mechanic, a lawyer, or the owner of a hardware store owner, everyone in business has developed a particular skill that could be used to attract new customers. How? By holding special seminars, workshops, or teleseminars to teach other people what you know. These types of informative sessions have the potential to attract a large number or qualified prospects for your products and services. For example, if you own a Tile or Flooring Company, you could offer special classes on how to put in a floor. If you own a Home Project Company, you could teach people how to remodel a bathroom or how to put in fixtures. The great thing about this, is that everyone who attends will also need to purchase products and supplies from you in order to do the work. It doesnt matter how big or small your company is, or what you sell. You could be a large corporation or a small Internet based company. Whatever it is you sell, products or services, there are bound to be a lot of people who would love to learn better ways to utilize and benefit from what youre selling. Keep in mind that every time you hold a workshop or seminar, you attract large groups of prime prospects who are ready, willing, and able to spend considerable amounts of money and time to learn how to do something theyre interested in. At the conclusion of the workshop or seminar prospects are primed to buy. It is very easy to direct them to your store or Web site, because you will have earned their appreciation and respect. They also know that your are knowledgeable and trustworthy. Once, youve made the decision to hold an informational workshop or seminar. How do you get the word out? Here are several ways you can promote your workshop or seminar: * If you have salespeople, you could make up a flyer or a brochure with a powerful announcement, outlining all the benefits the attendees will receive, and have your salespeople give them out to your prospects and customers. Even if you dont have salespeople, you could still print flyers and post them up at your place of business. * You could send out a letter that contains a heartfelt invitation to your prospects and customers. The letter should explain the reason why youre holding the class, and the reasons why it would be beneficial for them to attend. Let your prospect or customer know that this training is worth a lot of money, but you dont want to charge for it. This is something you are doing only for special prospects and customers so that they learn how to do (whatever your topic is). * If your workshop or seminar is for the general public, you could run an announcement in local newspapers, radio, or television. If the subject is industry specific it would be best to run an announcement in industry specific trade journals. * You could post an announcement on your Web site and send out an email to a your prospects and customers. If youre going to do a teleseminar it is important to let them know the day, the time in all the time zones, and most importantly what number to call, and the access code is. As for the content of the seminar itself, use your own judgment and imagination. You should give people a lot of useful information. Dont use the time to try to sell your products or services. Your prospects and customers will see right through it and it will just make them angry that you didnt give them what you promised. You want them to come away with a positive feeling, thats the best way to turn a prospect into a customer. Most of all, enjoy yourself. Your workshop or seminar should be a rewarding and enriching experience for you and the participants. The idea is to grow your business and have fun at the same time. When you do this, conducting workshops and seminars will become one of your most valuable marketing tools. Copyright2006 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of Americas largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology. Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joe_Love http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Use-Your-Expertise-To-Attract-New-Customers&id=142822 phentermine from online pharmacy cheap phentermine online consultation buy cheap phentermine cod phentermine online mastercard

By Lisa Koosis Some of the most important skills a retail salesperson can develop are their visual merchandising skills. A creative and skilled retailer can use the art of visual merchandising to breathe new life into a store and the products therein. So what is visual merchandising? Visual merchandising is the art of presenting products in an aesthetically pleasing fashion, presenting them in a way that makes people want to purchase the product(s) on display. In many retail establishments, visual merchandising consists not only of the presentation of items on the store shelves themselves, but also on displays such as window displays, counter displays, main aisle tables, end-caps (the displays on either end of an aisle), and special showcase displays such as armoires and feature walls. There are a number of visual merchandising tricks. Below, you’ll find a few. Color: Color is one of the most powerful tools in the visual merchandising toolbox and should be used to full advantage. Colors can be associated with emotions, seasons, holidays, special occasions and gender, among other things. What Halloween display would be complete without orange and black or what Christmas display without red and green (or, alternatively, silver and gold)? Using color, you can evoke a theme with even the most generic of items. Take towels, for example. Is it possible to create a Valentine’s Display using only towels? Sure. Although towels are never going to be the most romantic of display items, by choosing rich red towels and mixing them with pinks and whites, you can certainly evoke the mood of the holiday, particularly if you have the opportunity to cross-merchandise with such items as heart-shaped soaps and scented bath beads. Someone looking for a baby gift would certainly be drawn to a display that’s done entirely in pink and blue, because these colors — even without any help — speak to the customer, telling them a tale about the display before they’ve even studied the products. Signage: Sometimes specific signage is required, sent down from a corporate office. But if not, signage is equally important to the display, both in wording and visuals. Don’t skimp on color, even for signs. And sometimes, even when particular signs are mandatory, it pays to ask. I found that often if I promised to keep the integrity of the wording, my manager would give me free reign to reprint signs using my own choice of fonts, colors and graphics. With the variety of easy-to-use publishing software available these days, creating your own signage is simple. Programs such as Microsoft Publisher, Print Shop, Microsoft PictureIt! Publishing, etcetera, are simple to learn, and come with an extensive selection of graphics and font choices. Even word processing software can be easily used to create signs and banners. With a simple change of font, color, and font size, you can make an eye-catching sign. Themes: It’s vital to have themes for your displays. Random is a no-no in the visual merchandising world. Your displays should speak to your customer. Themes can be simple. A theme can be simply sale items in similar categories — bath items, for example. Themes can also be as specific as you’d like. Themes capture people’s imaginations. Themes can be whimsical, practical, romantic or wacky. Themes are only limited by your imagination and creativity. Don’t be afraid to be bold with themes. Dare to be different. For example, a display of mystery books is great, but a display of mystery books that feature cats prominently, makes for a much more creative display. Cross merchandising: Try using merchandise from different areas of the store if possible. Displays present a wonderful opportunity to introduce shoppers to areas of the store that they might not have ventured into otherwise. If you’re doing a display of gardening items, go ahead and include hand creams geared specifically toward gardeners, books on gardening, or children’s toys such as butterfly nets or bug catchers. Cleanliness: Something too easily overlooked, cleanliness is the foundation of a good display. Wood should be dusted and polished. Plexiglass holders need to be washed on a regular basis, and shelves should be dusted and/or wiped down. Don’t forget to replace broken display pieces. Nothing ruins a beautiful display like a cracked plexiglass sign holder. Neatness: Neatness goes hand in hand with cleanliness. Customers pick through displays, and this is a good thing. You want hands to touch your merchandise. Someone who picks an item up to examine is much more likely to put it in their cart and purchase it. So be sure to straighten your displays on a regular basis, neatening stacks and refolding items that require folding. For stackable items, forming a pyramid is recommended, with the highest piles in the center and shorter piles radiating out in order of height. Change is good: Change displays often. Don’t forget about your regular customers, the ones that come in faithfully week after week. Changing displays often can spark new interest in your products for those people who are in the store on a regular basis. Teamwork: Get the staff in on it. Creativity varies so much from person to person and a fresh set of ideas can breathe new life into a visual merchandising scheme. Even new staff are usually eager to help come up with new displays — and not only will you potentially open yourself to new and unique ideas, but this is a great way to create a sense of ownership and teamwork in your staff. Putting it all together: A lot of visual merchandising is, at heart, play. It takes time to get displays right. It takes a willingness to play around with the products and the signs until it looks good, because ultimately, making the products look attractive is what visual merchandising strives for. Don’t be afraid to be creative. Visual merchandising thrives on creativity. These displays can be the heart and soul of a business. After all, if your items are pretty enough to buy, they’ll keep your customers coming back for more. Lisa worked for a number of years at a major book retailer, where visual merchandising was one of her specialties. This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.Facsimile.Com/ which is a site for Fax Machines. 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By Kristen King Forget “bang for your buck.” You can market yourself and your services for free with these easy self-promotion tips: 1. Create a signature line and append it to all outgoing e-mail messages. Include your name, the name of your business or something to identify your services, your website address, and contact information. Make it very easy for potential clients to contact you and pass your name along to others. 2. Participate actively in free e-mail discussion lists and online forums related to your target market or area of expertise. Asking questions makes you approachable, answering them gives you credibility, and reading others’ comments is like a dozen free marketing and business courses rolled into one. Include your signature in every post. 3. Submit your website to the major search engines and indexes: Google, MSN, Yahoo!, Open Directory, Looksmart, and others. It’s not particularly difficult to do it manually, but you may benefit from checking out a service like the one offered by Robert Woodhead at SelfPromotion.com. He provides straightforward search engine optimization (SEO) info and explains the entire submission process. The articles and advice on the site are fantastic, and a free account there is, well, free! 4. Start a blog or free, subscription-based e-mail newsletter to build recognition, credibility, and relationships, and to drive traffic to your website. 5. Write letters to the editor and op-ed columns about subjects that may interest your potential clients or that establish you as an expert. Be sure to include your URL or professional e-mail address in the author bio blurb. 6. Sell or volunteer articles for newsletters and websites read by potential clients. Include a bio that identifies your business and expertise and include your e-mail address and/or URL. 7. Write a few short “evergreen” articles and submit them to content distributors like EzineArticles.com. You may pick up a few dollars along the way, and you’ll increase your visibility as your articles are reprinted by various publications. 8. Take advantage of www.PRWeb.com’s free press release distribution services to get your name out there and keep your business in front of your audience. 9. Visit Craigslist.org and post a short, well-written ad in the Services section for your city or region. Include a link to your website, and use your real e-mail address (not one of those anonymized ones). Marketing doesn’t have to be expensive. Bite the bullet and shell out a few bucks for your website and a new batch of business cards every now and then — but otherwise, save your money for things that aren’t so easy to get for free. Kristen King is a freelance writer-editor and consultant from Northern Virginia, and the author of Inkthinker (http://www.inkthinker.blogspot.com), which was named one of the top 10 blogs for writers in 2006. Subscribe to Kristen’s free e-newsletter at http://www.notes-in-the-margin.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristen_King http://EzineArticles.com/?No-Marketing-Budget?-No-Problem!-9-Free-and-Cheap-Marketing-Ideas-You-Can-Use-Today&id=453034 buy cheap valium online valium sale is it legal to order valium online valium roche online purchase

By Chris Chew Have you ever wondered why you are fat and have considered going on a weight loss dieting program? If you did, then you must know why certain food makes you fat. Most if not all of us are somewhat carbohydrate addicts. We have pastas, pizzas, white rice, spaghettis, bread, refined flour food and confectionaries in almost if not all our meals. Just look at the queues at the fast food joints on a regular day and you will know what I mean. Bread and sweet sugary drinks are the menu of the day, naturally. Some of us are reluctant to embark on a weight loss dieting program to lose that excess baggage (body fat) because we think it is an exercise in sheer willpower and futility. “You are asking me not to eat bread/rice/pizzas/hamburgers, chocolates and ice-creams my entire life? You must be nuts!” Sounds familiar? For those who incessantly snack on biscuits and chocolates between meals to stave off hunger while working at the office, here is why. You unwittingly and naturally reach for such snacks because of the food you chose to eat earlier at an earlier meal. If you start the day with three or four slices of white bread spread with fruit jam or margarine and then wash it down with coffee and sugar, you can be sure you will be craving for snacks by mid-morning even though your breakfast was a filling one. When your food made up primarily of carbohydrate, especially refined carbohydrate like white bread and pizzas, with little protein or fat, not to mention high in sugar, your blood glucose surges crazily following that meal. To counter the effect of extreme glucose surge in your blood stream, your pancreas will pump more insulin than usual to bring your blood glucose level down. What happens then is that your blood glucose surges will then dip lower than your pre-meal level. When this happens, you start to get hungry and crave for more sweet stuff and more carbohydrate. This is why you reach for sweet snacks and drinks instinctively. Thus the vicious cycle continues again and again and you are eating more and more calories. So choosing the food in your meal is important so that you will not get hungry fast and then consume more calories to satisfy that hunger upsetting your natural weight loss dieting program. When more carbohydrate is consumed than can be stored by your liver and muscles as glycogen, they are naturally converted to fat. So what should you do? Well, you can start to limit your carbohydrate consumption (note that I said limit and not stop) and on top of that, choose slow digesting carbohydrates especially carbohydrate with fibers like fibrous vegetables, fruits, legumes, brown rice and brown bread, your insulin spike will not be so eccentric and therefore you will not get hungry or having your sweet tooth so often. Now think about it, if you do not reach for your snacks and sugary drinks that often, it means that you are consuming fewer calories. So if your caloric consumption is less than your caloric expenditure, you are right on a natural weight loss dieting program without even realizing it. Better still, you are not going on a hunger and starvation diet because you will not get hungry that easily. Just imagine now that you are losing weight naturally, what if you incorporate an exercise routine into your natural weight loss dieting program to burn off some more calories? Your natural weight loss result will be amazing wouldnt it? Now that you know why you are fat, lets get started on this natural weight loss dieting program. About The Author Chris Chew is a fitness personal trainer of actors, fashion models, male pageant winners and other celebrities. See his health and fitness websites at http://www.sgfitness.com and http://www.sgfitnessonline.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Chew http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-You-Are-Fat—Natural-Weight-Loss-Dieting-Program&id=233117 buy carisoprodol 0a online carisoprodol online carisoprodol a prescription medication soma carisoprodol link online front ru

By John Gibb The bee pollen cholesterol effect is one in which among the other medical healing and antibiotic properties that bee pollen offers, is also suspected in the aiding of maintaining healthy bee pollen cholesterol levels. The most likely cause for bee pollen cholesterol is that the nutrients contained within bee pollen contain every essential ingredient known to sustain human survival. Bee pollen is made up of approximately twenty five percent complete protein containing at least eighteen amino acids and the entire array of vitamins. These are contributing ingredients to the bee pollen cholesterol effect. Bee pollen contains beta-carotene as well as twenty-eight minerals, more than eleven essential enzymes and fourteen beneficial fatty acids. Another contributing factor to the bee pollen cholesterol effect is that there is only eleven carbohydrates and is completely rich in minerals. Along with the full spectrum of vitamins also come hormones and its low in calories. Bee pollen contains natural sugars. The bee pollen cholesterol contributing factor is how healthful bee pollen is for the human body in general. It provides the body with the nutrients in requires in maintaining excellent health. It is imperative that you the consumer research the background of the supplier of your bee pollen products to ensure that they are being harvested properly because if they are not harvested from a clean source, they can contain contaminants and other toxins that are harmful to the human system. Bee pollen should be collected more than two times a week from the pollen traps located at the entrance of the hives and frozen immediately to preserve hive freshness. If it is not frozen, it can lose most of its nutrients. A lot of low grade companies still choose to buy this kind of product and fashion it with fillers and chemical agents to gain the desired weight and distribute it. Always read labels, ask questions and educate yourself before diving in to bee pollen therapy. It is of the utmost importance that you check with your doctor or medical professional before beginning any supplemental program. As well, if you have ever suffered from a bee venom allergy, do not take this product or any product containing bee ingredients from the hive. Doing so could cause life threatening side effects like anaphylactic shock or other uncomfortable symptoms. The product we personally use, located in the pristine source of New Zealand, is the most natural bee pollen source we have come across - http://www.bee-health-product.com We have been using this supplement for over 3 years with excellent health results. We have achieved a general sense of well being and new improved energy levels. We highly recommend you check out our bee pollen supplement of choice for further information. John Gibb runs a series of health websites. Check out our Bee supplement guide, for more information on bee pollen. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Gibb http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Bee-Pollen-Cholesterol-Effect&id=457410 buy online tramadol buy tramadol online from oregon no prescription cheap tramadol buy online tramadol

By Michelle Bery The history of Chinese herbs used for medicinal purposes dates back to sometime between 800 and 200 BC with the publication of Huang Di Nei Jing - The Yellow Emperors Classic of Internal Medicine. At this time, a combination of 28 separate Chinese herbs had been discovered to have great healing power and the combination of many of these are still in existence today. By around 500 AD, Chinese herbs had been sorted into a classification system that helped guide their use depending on the particular situation. Superior herbs were used to help sustain health much as we use herbal and vitamin supplements today; middle herbs were used to treat illness; and inferior herbs were used to cure disease. Chinese herbs have been credited with successfully treating everything from acne to infertility. In todays world, where traditional medicine tends to focus on the methods employed in Western medicine, much of the uses of Chinese herbs are largely passed over. But for those who look towards non-traditional medicine as a means of recovering health or even as a supplement to traditional medical care, they will find the benefits of Chinese herbs to be rooted in ancient knowledge and a history of success. Chinese herbs can be found in a variety of places including medical offices following the Eastern practice of medicine, Asian markets, and even online. But the use of Chinese herbs, while most often safe, should be used under the guidance of a medical professional and after extensive research has been performed. If there is an interest in using Chinese herbs to help supplement health or treat an existing condition, it is best to research those herbs that have shown success in these particular instances. Seek out a medical professional or someone well-versed in the use of Chinese herbs to determine the best way to proceed. When Chinese herbs are used in conjunction with education, preparedness, and medical supervision, they can be a fantastic tool to achieving overall, natural health. For easy to understand, in depth information about herbs visit our ezGuide 2 Herbs. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Bery http://EzineArticles.com/?Using-Chinese-Herbs-For-Health&id=406457 buy phentermine no prescription required phentermine canada pharmacy order cheap phentermine pharmacy phentermine cod

By Rion Williams Did you know that there is actually a ‘pre-game’ to the dating game? It’s the part where most guys fail with women and it happens right up front. It’s also the hardest thing to see unless you know what you’re looking for. With relational dynamics I like to deal with the ‘true’ relationships that exist; the ones that really matter while everyone else is focusing on superficial solutions. With dating and women there is now a pre-game. This pre-game is essentially a relational power struggle. It didn’t used to be necessary with our forefathers but it is now. Since beautiful women are wielding such leveraged social power and status, most men (socially) just don’t compare and are consistently thrown off because they are ignorant to what it really is. She can have any guy she wants in the room and you’re approaching her, you can now believe it IS a power game right upfront. And unless you ARE the social alpha male in the room, you’d better understand and apply relational dynamics or just truly not care. Unfortunately, for most guys who were brought up in this social society you do ‘care’ too much and little mind tricks just aren’t enough to change your entire physiology to be comfortable around this level of power and beauty. In order to win the pre-game and move on from there (where everything happens and consistently), you have to be equal or greater than her in that initial relational power game. Just because a mass consortium of women have greatly jumped up in Inner Character and Social Character power in the last 25 years, doesn’t mean that you should be any less of a man (despite that being the ironic trend). These women are looking for men who are their equal or greater in power. Guys who are comfortable in their own skin IN RELATION TO her own power and beauty; those are the guys who consistently have women chasing them and interested in them. Even if you’re not equal in social status but you can truly be comfortable in your own skin in relation to her, you’re light years ahead of other guys who are better looking and seemingly ‘better catches’ than you are. Why? Because she has to have someone who is at least equal in initial power or greater than her. He has to be rock-solid in who he is AROUND HER so that she can open up and ‘respond’ like she is supposed to (and waiting to do). Women are looking for ‘real men’. Isn’t it time you stepped up to the plate after knowing what you’re dealing with here? Your ‘inner game’ alone is not nearly enough. It has a power leverage ratio of 1:1. Her social power could be 100,000:1 because of her beauty and fame and the number of guys she could sleep with. You have to have more than ‘inner game’ or ‘personality’ to win that initial power game. Once you pass that initial power game by just ‘representing’ and ‘being’ that man who is truly her equal or greater (by being comfortable in your own skin around her highnessness), then the REAL GAME can begin. This initial power and character cannot be faked either because women are very intuitive and sensitive when it comes to the true yet hidden ‘power relationship’. Most teachers, dating coaches and seduction guru’s will teach you essentially how to ‘fake it’ til you make it. Unfortunately, most guys will never ‘make it’ because they don’t understand the root power that these DO represent (and neither do the teachers!). They don’t understand their relationship to that and therefore can’t harness ‘the power’. Your power lies primarily in your natural character. She doesn’t care about you or your personality when she first meets you, SHE DOESN’T. You have to showcase that you really are comfortable in your own skin (high natural character) around her. Later, your personality can come in a little bit to intrigue her more. As a man, naturally you ARE the stimulus and she is the mating response. This is the only way it works. Otherwise if the woman is the stimulus and you’re the response you’ll have the unfortunate reality of millions of families or the metaphor of the praying mantis female biting the head off the man after she mates. But it all really BEGINS when you are ALWAYS equal or greater to in relational power with any woman on earth. You can’t depend on their personality traits because that is always variable. You see, you actually have to BE that man of high character before, during and after your interaction with a woman. That’s when she knows she can trust you. And that’s where the ‘game’ begins. You have to have value to offer her. A woman’s intuition works against most men because they start getting nervous and intimidated by her good looks and social power or status. Even great catches like you may have a hard time being comfortable in your own skin around these beautiful women. So while guys continue to focus on pickup lines and body language techniques (acting or faking it), they’re missing the only thing that truly counts. Ironically you HAVE TO be comfortable in your own skin in relation to her leverage beauty and power. They expect you to. It’s up to you to take care of yourself and just be that man who can see the real woman inside. You can be the man who understands his relationship to her leveraged social power of beauty (which she resents), who can take her away from the great irony of social pressure. You can be the man who is ALWAYS the stimulus because you know your relationship to the root behavioral characteristics within any woman on earth. That is power and power you must have to consistently succeed. Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. 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By Bob Parkins Not many Christians debate God’s instructions against premarital sex. However, there is still not a consensus or a shared understanding regarding what constitutes acceptable physical affection and what is sinful. The Bible uses words like adultery, fornication, lust, and purity, all words that have very clear meanings. Yet many Christian singles, teens, and even parents remain confused. Many Christian singles and teens struggle to maintain sexual purity while abstaining from sexual intercourse, yet many are engaging in sexual acts. They deceive themselves by legalistically reasoning they haven’t violated God’s boundaries because they haven’t technically had sex. While the Bible does not appear to clarify exactly what other acts for singles are and are not acceptable in God’s eyes, it is very clear about the guidelines we are meant to judge these acts by. When asked by young couples, how far is too far? I generally ask them to search their hearts and examine what their intention and motivation in asking is. Usually a couple who asks how far, is also struggling to maintain sexual purity. Those struggling with sexual purity or addictions are in the habit of pushing limits and boundaries. They want to know what is the maximum they can get away with. They look for loopholes in attempts to satisfy the desire for immediate self gratification. The Bible warns us about being deceived and worshiping idols (Deut 11:16; Exo 20:14), and sex can be an idol to those who struggle to maintain purity. Scripture also tells us that God sees what truly is in our hearts and we will sow what we reap (Gal 6:7). If you have ever asked how far, and have patterns of pushing limits, it is likely you are not truly interested in purity and really want to get away with as much physical affection as possible. When you put it that way it seems silly to consider the technicality of sin. If you discover your motive is to selfishly seek your own physical gratification, instead refocus on what is pure (Phi 4:8). When you flirt with sin, you put yourself in a position to sin. To answer the question more directly, anything that causes you to sin is too far. This is probably the best litmus test for determining limits since the Bible doesn’t tell couples specifically how they can show physical affection, at least in not in the manner many look for. There are several scriptural examples of expressing affection through treasuring chastity and virtue and abstaining from sexual immorality (Isa 62:5; 2Col 11:2), a counter-cultural perspective in most increasingly permissive/promiscuous societies. Jesus models surrendering personal desires to the Father (Luk 22:42), and encourages us to ask for God’s intervention in maintaining victory over sin in The Lord’s Prayer ( Luk 11:4). If you are willfully sustaining a desire that cannot be righteously met, you are deceiving yourself (1Thess 4:3-8). Determining limits may be a little different for different couples, but be cautioned against any propensity to justify pushing limits. If you get excited to the point you struggle with lustful thoughts or fantasies from kissing, or if you have difficulty respecting boundaries (yours or hers), you may not be able to handle more. Consider then abstaining from kissing or other applicable act. Some may not struggle with kissing and will need to set limits accordingly. I suggest also abstaining from any physical activity or show of affection that you are not comfortable doing in front of her father. There are several genuine and appropriate displays of affection that pass this test. It is important that couples talk about setting physical limits early in their relationship. We live in a backwards culture where single men often push women to/beyond their sexual limit. This is not what God intends or requires of us in marriage, so it certainly cannot be condoned in dating. Men are to cherish and protect their wives, not take advantage of them for their own pleasure (Eph 5:25-28; Col 3:19). Just as a father is to protect the innocence of his daughter, so are we to protect and respect any woman we are in a dating relationship with. Sexual desire for her is not bad, but respecting her virtue means protecting her from these desires (yours or her). Men, it is up to you to initiate this conversation and establishing boundaries. This may be the very first act you exhibit of spiritual leadership in a budding relationship. Any potential spouse who is worth spending your life with will respect your integrity because they will feel safe and cherished. Two scripture verses that are helpful in maintaining focus on purity are: (2Ti 2:22) Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (Phi 4:8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Be encouraged by the peace God promises those that live pure and virtuous lives (Son 8:10). Copyright 2005, Bob Parkins, LMFT - All rights reserved Bob Parkins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Fair Oaks, CA. Bob works from a Christian perspective with individuals (pre-teen + ), couples, and groups. Bob’s primary specialties are: sexual addiction, depression, anxiety, relationship issues. 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